I am sharing the comments and mark given by G. Siemens as some other participants have done. If you want to read the file sent to me an hour ago please feel free to do so here.
The comments I sent by email are the following:
Hi George and Steven!
I just received your email with your mark and comments on my first paper, thanks.
To answer your comments I will quote you first to address them later.
“Some statements – such as “engage or enrage” aren’t cited or supported. I believe it’s a Prensky quote, but I don’t understand what it means.”
I thought that by posting in my paper the video itself, that would do as citation for the phrase "I strive to engage my students, not to enrage them." You are right, it’s from Prensky. Here is the citation and link to the video: "Prensky, M. (2004) What Can You Learn From A Cell Phone?". With all due respect, to get the meaning please watch the video. As your connectivist model states, I could go on with a series of explanations but if you don’t recognize the pattern it would be of little use.
“The focus of this paper was for you to state your position on connectivism – strengths/weaknesses, etc. You provide a series of personal reflections rather than stating clearly your view of connectivism. If you provided the latter, then you can use your reflections to strengthen your overall argument.”
In my paper I stated that my position was ambivalent, it was too early for me to view the strengths/weaknesses, etc. Even now, it’s difficult to explain clearly with words my views about something that cannot be defined but rather lived to grasp it.
If you read my blog and follow the links to my activities you will see that online and offline I work and relate to others in a “connectivist” way. I experienced connectivism before I met the term, it’s a way of living and working that I started since 1993. I had to leave teaching institutions to accomplish that, formal education is still traditional and curriculum centred.
Online I experienced it with the EVO sessions. The difference between your course and those workshops is the frequent feedback, encouragement and warm, free atmosphere. In a sense, I'm immersed in connectivism; my actions define my position. Sorry if I cannot clarify it more that this.
